Ernesto Rivera: I think that prison eats your life

Ernesto Rivera now, at 42
KMCI

Ernesto Rivera #425661; KMCI; PO Box 282; Plymouth, WI 53073

Hi,
My real name is Omar Carrasquillo Garcia but I’m down with other name in prison, “Ernesto Rivera”. I am 39 years . Like 5’9” tall , I’m 100% Puertoriqueno. I’m from Rio Pedras Puerto Rico. I will tell you about me a little something. I grew up in residential “el Prado”. When I was 7 years I saw people killing each other. It was like oh God! But this was all the time. I saw how my friends killing other friends- is crazy. My best friend die with a motorcycle I buy him 15 minutes before. I pay $100 for it to a crackheard. Now my friend, my brother, is dead. Damn, I cry a lot. And I still am indeed mourning. Then I hate life. I blame God, Everybody. I yes wanna die too. I was a bad kid. I do a lot of bad stuff. I can lie. Now I was in war with other hoods but I don’t care about that. I was running the place but all my friends, one by one, was gone. I realized I needed to do something so I got them back. Then I was in Puerto Rico pricion Bayamon for homicide. I do 7 ½ years, I get out and get my gun and police stop me so they send me back to prison. In the streets there was a war so I get out and go back to my hood again. We were shooting at everybody who came to kill us ….
I have to change my life so I came to Wisconsin. Here was PAZ with a new life, you know. Everybody said “ crazy Mono”-you never will reach 19 years but now I am 35! And I am in prison in Waupun for a homicide. I never but never wanted to do that and I will tell you a little something. On July 14, 2003, I was on the 14 Greefield, in day time. 12 noon this cat came from a street and was talking to my friend. My friend call me, And told me a “ Hay Mono, do you have some heroine to sell? I say NO. The dude jumped and said: “ please Mon, sell me something because I am sick. I said “okay, okay, yes, because you are sick. I will sell you some of my shit.” he said okay. I take heroine back to the house and I show it to him. Now he use it. I have a gun on my waiste pant or belt . This dude said I will not pay you shit. I said okay dog, so got the rest of the dope back. And I thought that because he saw the gun, he will not do something crazy. But I was wrong. I slip and this dude , yes put me in a bear lock . I think fast and in my mind I thought he came to kill me that is all about ,so I somehow push him away and he fell to the floor but he have now my gun. I thought , okay, now I’m dead. He said “you will die now” and pulled the trigger. But somehow the Safe was on. I put my hand first on the gun before he can take the safe out and shoot me so I start to fight with him for the control of the gun. It was him or me alone. There was nobody around.
In the end I take the gun back and I take the safe out and shoot him 5 times. I ever see this cat in my life. He even was from Milwaukee. He came that day from Green Bay. Now I am here doing 25 year s in prison and no end probation. For all 235 years they never believe that I was defending my life. I came to this new world I have to bite my tongue because I don’t know English. I do like four years in the hole. I learn down here my English is crazy- but it’s truth. I didn’t want to do it but I have no way out. It was his life or mine. I’m here thinking about my life. All this pain, never happiness. Sometimes I ask why I have to do all my life in a place like this. With all my friends dead, away from all my family. What more can happen to me? I love all people. Mexican Girls, Ruerto Ricans. Americans, Cubans and African Americans-all the girls, woman are beautiful. I am proud of myself , my mom and family. I like to know some girl and want to be a friend because I don’t have no one. I write Espanish and English. I tell about my story so you can’t have no doubt about why I am here doing time/ I am right now in the hole. I get out of the holein 60 days. I saw people kill themselves because can’t take it anymore. Is a crazy place but with good people. I don’t like poeple that kill kids or women, hell no. Or raper no no. that peopleare no good. They take from innocent people good. People, I keep it real. I like to talk about love and life. They call me MONO or mon. Peoples, get out on 2030 but I still fighting my case. I will get maybe sometime back .Let’s see. I like to write stuff about my life like poems. Is about pain but It’s all real. Because even all this pain, I am a good person. With all my respect,
Esrneto Rivera #42661
Mono Prado

This was Ernesto's first letter to FFUP:
I think that this prison eats your life. Like I feel is this role of this
lifetime looks here to be forever. Here you can see the same faces, same problems, same thing. I hate to get up when I’m asleep because in Puerto Rican Prison they always say: when a brother is sleeping, he is free and that is right. I write all this in Spanish like a poem and I even write about the hole 20 times. They all are not the same stuff. It is good for me because people can read something that is real. . Like I’m living it. Sometime we dream about the past or we dream about stuff that we never have – over and over. I know how to kill time but always one day play hard. I’m ok here in the hole. I get time to realize who is who . I get to realize who is who because of Ms. Peg. Here the hole is the real prison – not the population and when I come here I feel peace (Paz) because I not wanna be here for one year no no, I may do 45 days and on that time I can see clear the people but God do something for something and that is real. When I get out , I, yes, want to think about me – myself. I wrote to the women’s prison so she can find me a girl because I think I need one right now.
I don’t want to take more of your time, if you put me down on the Pen Pal, let me know if ok and if you want to write back is ok too, God bless always, with all my respect.
Ernesto Rivera